Vulnerability

Why I'm Finally Talking About Mental Performance

If I’m honest, I’ve been scared for a while now to fully share the depth of my mental performance work.

Growing up, I was taught that men don’t talk about their feelings.

Both father figures in my life who I deeply love and respect weren’t taught how to process emotions, so neither was I.

I learned to compartmentalize, toughen up, and focus on the task at hand. I got really good at it. But underneath, I struggled hard with anxiety, fear of failure, and self-doubt.

I developed an all-or-nothing mindset: working as hard as I could, studying relentlessly, or partying without limits. There was no middle ground. No moderation.

Why? Because it was easier than feeling what was really going on inside.

I’m proud of my journey. I’ve built a life I love. But in my 20s, I was often lost. If you’re there now, I want you to know: it can get better.

When I moved to LA in 2021, my inner critic got so loud I finally had to ask for help. I tried therapy—it didn’t click right away, and I stopped. That’s normal. Sometimes it takes time and experimentation.

Then in 2022, through sheer luck, I met Erika my mental performance coach. We’ve met every Wednesday at 7am since.

She’s guided me through some hard times, and I’ve held nothing back. That’s her voice you hear in the video.

With her help, I’ve grown immensely. I’ve started sharing what I’ve learned with my clients and students—and I’ve watched them make powerful shifts too.

But still, I’ve kept a lot of it quiet. Out of fear. Fear that being open would make me look “soft.”

This Wednesday, Erika told me: stop hiding.
So here I am, sharing this now.

1. Holistic Health

In the fitness world, we don’t talk about mental health enough. We think people are paying us to help them lift weights not manage emotions or mindset. And while that’s true on paper, the reality is different.

If you’ve ever coached someone, you know they end up telling you everything. You become their confidant, whether you asked for it or not.

Over time, I realized the best results didn’t come from just training the body—they came when the whole human was thriving: mentally, emotionally, physically, and socially. You can’t ignore one piece of the puzzle.

2. The Stigma

Every professional sports team has a mental performance coach or psychologist. The best athletes train their minds as much as their bodies.

So why is there still such a stigma in the general population especially among men?

We know we should train our bodies. But when it comes to our minds? That’s somehow still taboo.

But think about it:
If you're going to train your body, why wouldn't you train your mind too?

3. Vulnerability

Vulnerability means being open to harm, judgment, or rejection. It’s risky. And as I write this, I feel that risk deeply.

But I also feel called to speak.

Because after working with hundreds of people, I know this:
We all experience pain. We all crave joy. And we all need tools to process what life throws at us.

I believe we'd all be happier if we were just a little more honest about our struggles.

4. The Challenge

Yesterday, Erika challenged me to stop hiding and start sharing. That’s why I’m posting this instead of another kettlebell swing video (though those are fun too).

My challenge to you:
Do something today that makes you feel vulnerable.

• Have that hard conversation.

• Call that friend you’ve been avoiding.

• Share something you’ve been holding back.

Take one step toward showing the real you. See what happens.

5. In Conclusion

KBCU started as a way to teach kettlebells.
But over time, I realized my role had to evolve.

Because the truth is: everyone I meet is dealing with stress, pain, or the pursuit of something meaningful. We’re all trying to figure it out.

We all have thoughts, feelings, and emotions that need space to be seen, heard, and understood.

The only way to build true resilience—and find real joy—is by having honest conversations and support systems that make you feel safe.

That’s the mission now:
To create spaces where people can grow in all areas of life, not just the physical.

And I hope today’s post helps you feel just a little more ready to start your own journey.